A Short Note on People Who Don’t Suck

Before my mom calls me out on being pessimistic, I feel like I need to follow up on what I wrote a few days ago. While there are a lot of people who suck, there are a great many more who don’t. I am inspired by so many people around me these days. People who persevere, and keep their chins up in the face of heartbreaks, challenges, falls, plans going by the wayside. We’re all dealt a lot of tough stuff at times, and it’s heartening to see people deal with it in ways that are constructive.

I think it’s also worth talking about the difference between what’s on the surface and what people are really feeling. I tend to project an air of “everything is fine” while inside I often feel like I’m drowning. I appreciate the people in my life who see the facade for what it is, who ask “are you OK?” and who care about the answer. This is a two-way street, and non-sucky people know that.

Going along with this, these same awesome people are the kind who really listen and aren’t just waiting their turn to speak. I work an office job, and often in meetings, when ideas are asked for, no one seems to care about the replies. I really hate that. If you want to know what I think, and you ask me what I think, and I tell you what I think, let’s discuss it. Then, let’s switch places. Being truly heard is a rare and awesome feeling. We need more of that.

I want to give a shoutout to the people with whom I can sit in silence. Some folks are afraid of silence, and this isn’t a criticism of them in any way (these people don’t suck, they’re just different from me!). I love silence. I love sitting in silence with someone. I love the lulls in conversation where you just exist for a few seconds or minutes. I love when the conversation starts again and you feel kind of refreshed and liberated for having allowed some quiet in. I appreciate this so much.

NB: Sometimes folks don’t like the word “suck” in the context I’ve been using. I’m mostly using it because, as a kid, I had my mouth washed out with soap for using it too much, and that won’t happen now. Also, some people suck and some people don’t and those are just facts of life.

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